16 Candles

A birthday message to my son...

16 years ago today, at about this time of day, I recall screaming as loud as I possibly could... "GET IT OUT!!” to my obstetrician/gynecologist.

It was a warm and tender moment.

Hours later, I felt the release of what seemed like all my internal organs and heard your magical cry. Then, finally, you were placed swaddled in a warm blanket into my arms.

“My son,” I remember thinking. “This little bald pointy headed red-faced guy is my son.” (What a proud time).

I sure had some profound thoughts in the days thereafter. One was, “Wow, now I understand the hype about hemorrhoids” and another was, “Can I keep this funny looking kid healthy, happy and help him to lead a productive life?”

That was a scary question Max. I was 29 and at the time and I was looking in the mirror wondering whether my mother had done those things for me. I recall saying to my reflection, “Well, two out of three aint bad.” (Just kidding Marge)

And the simple, less profound thoughts about what to do next were even more frightening.

Now you are 16!!! My fears are no longer about meeting your basic needs (I finally got those down....chicken wings, pretzel rods, white grape juice, expensive sneakers, etc)...but when I think about the central theme of my current worries, they are still about "healthy, happy and leading a productive life."

These are moving targets my love....ones we keeep chasing as we grow.

16 years of growth is alot ya know...you are now this smart, funny, independent-thinking, continually-evolving young man.

I want you to know that I am trying to "keep up." I have learned so many things trying to be the mother I want to be for you, the mother I think you need and a woman you will still want to be around even when you no longer need your mother.

Don't worry, I’m still working on it.

And on your birthday I want to tell you how much I love growing up with you.

Also, I need to say that as for those moving targets....I am always and forever going to be there for you as you try to hit those and others and to follow whatever dreams you may dream.

That's non-negotiable....
It's payback for the hemorrhoids.

Happy Birthday!!

I love you more than words can ever say.