Independence Day

Independence Day…

A joyous occasion for our great country…and just an all around interesting word, “INDEPENDENCE.” Say it three times fast.

“Freedom from control by another person, organization or state,” is the definition the holiday, Independence Day, evokes but it means so many more things to all of us. Being independent can mean self-supporting, able to function by oneself and not be dependent on others, capable of thinking or acting without consultation or guidance from others, not affecting other “variables,” not being affected by others….

Hearing the word can make you want to stand up and sing the lyrics made popular by Destiny’s Child, “All the women who are independent, throw your hands up at me, all the honeys who makin’ money, throw your hands up at me…”

But I often think of the word in the context of relationships and whether I am getting the “Independence factor” right. So, as you sit around boozing it up with your pals this holiday weekend, I offer you this question to ponder and discuss (well, it’s more like many questions or one with sub-parts):

In a good relationship, is it best to be dependent on each other or independent of each other? Or, is there some mix? Do you think you have the formula worked out? If not, what would you change?

I have divorced friends who have said they were too independent and leading their own lives led to the demise of their relationship and I have friends who want to be divorced but are too dependent on their spouses to do so. Thankfully, I have many friends who think their “Independence factor” is just right.

Phyllis Diller said, “Women want men, careers, money, children, friends, luxury, comfort, independence, freedom, respect, love, and three dollar pantyhose that won't run.” I'm just wondering, how would you rank the importance of these things?

Happy 4th Vuv-ellas. May you find happiness when scratching your own back and when having it scratched by others.