Eat Dessert First

This week, each of my children had a friend “lose their father,” and I hate that expression and I hate even more, that these events occurred.

The expression…..

When someone says “I lost a loved one,” in some dark recess of my mind I think about asking, “Where?” “Where did you lose them?”

Of course, I don’t say that out loud, but my point is…..when you lose an object you have lost something. When a loved one dies you suffer a loss….a terrible, horrendous loss….and I just think it deserves a better phrase, a better statement.

The events….the deaths……

I'm really angry about them. Every parent should be. There should be laws of the universe that ensure that we get to witness certain events in our children’s lives, laws that ensure that our children get to have us at their thirteenth birthdays, their graduations and their weddings.
But there aren’t…

So I went to pay my respects and offer my condolences to the family of my son’s friend. His parents and I were “sideline buddies” and we reveled in cheering for our football playing sons. We shared a super bowl winning season of flag football and two undefeated seasons of tackle but we really knew very little about each other’s lives. Joe’s death (the dad), as it turns out, was reported in all the New York newspapers because he had a very prominent career. A google search revealed that he had also just recently retired and he fell ill five days into his retirement. I asked his wife Susan about this and she explained that he had died at the “pinnacle of happiness.” He had a great family, he retired at the top of his game, he had been honored as a result of his retirement and had the great pleasure of people paying tribute to him at a time when they were doing so just because they wanted to and not because they knew he was sick. That sounded great except five days into his retirement?!!! I was angry again…so I asked Susan, "What is the message in that?” Without skipping a beat she said, “Eat dessert first.”

“Eat dessert first!”

I love it. I get it. I hope you do too.

So don’t go out tomorrow and blow all your money because the world could end at any moment, but do think about making every “proverbial meal” most enjoyable, most relevant and most memorable so someday someone, hopefully lots of someones, can lovingly say about you, “he/she died at the pinnacle of happiness.”

To my jewish friends.....heck I don't care what religion you are....
I want to wish you all a sweet new year.