The Booby Prize

Sydney informed me we needed to go bra shopping.
Sydney is 11.

“Why, do you think I need new bras?” I asked.
“No,” she responded with a tone that screamed, “You idiot!” “For me,” she added.

“Oh,” bubble over my head….”Don’t blow this….do not say, “Why?” or, "I don’t see any boobage," or "Do they make bras for breast buds?"…..don’t blow this big moment between mother and daughter.”

“Okay honey," I manage to say…"Let’s go."

But silly me, I didn't ask if there were any ground rules. I just got caught up in the moment of buying our first bras and enjoying a true girl's experience….so when we walked into our favorite childrens/tweens clothing store and the woman said, “Can I help you?’ I stupidly said, out loud, “Yes, my daughter needs bras.”

Sydney yanked my arm so hard it still hurts. “Mom!” she said, in that tone that says. "You are so embarrassing and perhaps the dumbest woman in the world."

“What did I do?” I asked.
“Did you have to say that out loud?"
"Well how else will she know what we need?"

Sydney doesn’t answer…so I look at the salesgirl with a face that begs her to understand that I now need her to use telepathy….I hold my head as if to indicate I am sending her messages.

She doesn’t get it. “Are you okay, ma’am?”

Do I look like a ma’am? I want to go all Joe Pesce in "Goodfellas" on her right that moment ("Do I look like a clown? Am I here to amuse you?") but this isn’t about me, it’s about Syd.

I look at Syd…she grabs the uninjured arm and leads me to bras….the only bras I have ever seen smaller than the ones that fit me. Salesgirl follows (thankfully).

When hidden in the racks, Syd whispers, in a semi-apologetic tone that when we walked in she spotted a boy from her class in the store. Aaaah, that explains it…can’t do bras in front of boys. I wish I had known.

Salesgirl and Syd now communicate through pointing and nodding in case boy from class is in the vicinity. Salesgirl takes chosen bras to register only after looking around and indicating that the coast is clear.

Outside, Syd actually thanks me for the shopping excursion and I breathe a sigh of relief that our moment is salvaged….then I cringe at my next thought…..we will have to travel to another city when it’s time to shop for maxipads and tampons. Uggggh!

I love you Syd...you're my light.
And in the words of Dr. Evil (from Austin Powers baby!)......"Mini-Me you complete me."