Tomorrow is the first day of school and I am in a complete tizzy.
I got the worst math teacher, my program sucks and I don't know anyone who is in my classes.
I have been going to sleep after midnight and waking up at noon all summer and am panicked about falling asleep tonight at a time that will have me fully functional at 7 a.m.
My mother wants me to wear the new wool fall outfit she bought me for school and it is supposed to be 97 degrees.
Oh, and did I mention the outfit goes with the hideous "school shoes" my sister suggested I buy? Good thing they are "multi-colored" platforms and "go with everything." I should get lots of wear out of them.
What am I to do?
For starters, perhaps I can "snap out of it!"....and remember that I am not 13 and it's not 1978 (thankfully). I don't have to sneak-read Judy Blume's "Forever." I am as old as dirt and it is my children who are in their rooms dealing with their own "stuff" about the start of a new school year.
Right?
I'm not so sure...
I know that I am an adult who works and has a career and that I will not be going to school tomorrow.....but the summer will always feel more "free" to me than any other season...less routine, less tense. The season when "school's out" is my "fave" and "back to school" time marks it's end.
Hmmmm....maybe I'm the one dealing with "stuff" and there's a reason those kids are hiding in their rooms.....
May all your students have a great start to the new school year!!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Enjoyin' The Ride
I do not remember much about the details of anything I did two decades ago. I don’t even feel old enough to talk about a life that existed two decades ago…
But I am two score and four years old and as of today I will have been married for one score of it.
Yes my friends, it is my 20th wedding anniversary!! And Eric’s too!! We have been espoused 20 freakin’ years! Are you catching on to a theme yet?
This is a milestone of grand proportions.
And when I mentioned this event to Eric in utter disbelief, he said, “It has been a pretty good ride.”
Isn’t that romantic? To liken 20 years of marriage to a ride? Surprised he didn’t say run? Or swim?
Could have been either with him for readers who know my marathon-running man…and if I was a romantic, I would be annoyed…or more annoyed.
But the good news is we both like triathlons…and, it occurs to me that if we all applied the values of a triathlete to marriage, the time we spend in the race would…just maybe… be more pleasant.
There’s preparation and training for every race and when you are training…there are:
Days you feel you can run forever
Days you hit a wall
Days you hit the water and are overcome with a kind of anxiety that makes you feel you will drown
Days you hit your stride on that bike and feel like you could win the Tour de France
Days other racers get in your way
Days you couldn’t make it up a hill without them
Days you don’t want to work anymore
Days all you can think about is being the best at it that you can be
Days your endorphins give you an incredible natural high
Days you “smell the coffee” and see the fruits of your labor
And the racers who are committed to a good result…they stay in the race…
So, as for the “it’s been a good ride” comment…I’ll take it…
‘Cause it has been
And I think we are still motivated to “achieving our best times on this course.”
Happy Anniversary honey!
Ride on!
But I am two score and four years old and as of today I will have been married for one score of it.
Yes my friends, it is my 20th wedding anniversary!! And Eric’s too!! We have been espoused 20 freakin’ years! Are you catching on to a theme yet?
This is a milestone of grand proportions.
And when I mentioned this event to Eric in utter disbelief, he said, “It has been a pretty good ride.”
Isn’t that romantic? To liken 20 years of marriage to a ride? Surprised he didn’t say run? Or swim?
Could have been either with him for readers who know my marathon-running man…and if I was a romantic, I would be annoyed…or more annoyed.
But the good news is we both like triathlons…and, it occurs to me that if we all applied the values of a triathlete to marriage, the time we spend in the race would…just maybe… be more pleasant.
There’s preparation and training for every race and when you are training…there are:
Days you feel you can run forever
Days you hit a wall
Days you hit the water and are overcome with a kind of anxiety that makes you feel you will drown
Days you hit your stride on that bike and feel like you could win the Tour de France
Days other racers get in your way
Days you couldn’t make it up a hill without them
Days you don’t want to work anymore
Days all you can think about is being the best at it that you can be
Days your endorphins give you an incredible natural high
Days you “smell the coffee” and see the fruits of your labor
And the racers who are committed to a good result…they stay in the race…
So, as for the “it’s been a good ride” comment…I’ll take it…
‘Cause it has been
And I think we are still motivated to “achieving our best times on this course.”
Happy Anniversary honey!
Ride on!
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
The Dreaded V.D. List
Not "venereal disease......VISITING DAY!!!!!!!!!
I swore I wouldn’t do it again…
I spent the whole school year extolling the virtues of healthy eating and yet, today, days before camp visiting day, I purchased enough junk food for my daughter Sydney to put a village of children in to a sugar coma.
She sent me “The List”…the dreaded list…and who am I to say no? After all, she has been deprived of her favorite foods for twenty-one days. Imagine…3 whole weeks without a Blow Pop. It is, after all, two treats in one. I am too weak to refuse that request.
Hev, have you ever gone three weeks without two kinds of Doritos? It is unimaginable. Chex Mix? Tootsie rolls? Pop Tarts? Ritz with a can of Cheez Wiz on the side? I am too weak to refuse these requests as well. But can we take a minute to discuss the Cheez Wiz? Because it baffles me…she has never ever requested this fake dairy product or tried it at home. I believe I am asked to purchase this for purposes of an underground barter system that exists at camp (you know, like in prison). I have a theory that the Cheez Wiz has a high trade value. One of these days I will prove I am right.
I also swore up and down I wouldn’t schlep perishables. But “The List”…..the dreaded list…has Chinese food and sushi on it. Now I need another tangent here…I have friends who are admittedly attempting to transport Red Mango and D’Lites and Ralph’s Ices (all frozen treats in case you live in a cave)…and they are staying over the night before they see the kids…and no, they do not drive an ice cream truck…..though now that I say that wouldn’t that be a good idea? (Note to self: Rent Mr Softee truck next year and drive it to camp).
Okay so I told you all of that so I wouldn’t sound like such an ass for bringing Chinese food and sushi…but it’s true!! Did I mention hot wings? Chocolate pizza? (Call Michelle at 516 459 6495 if you want one for your camper—they're yummy!).
Is there actually any remnant of a fruit in a fruit roll-up? ‘Cause I bought a box of 48. She has a day and a half to eat the food I bring. After that, all things that cannot be hidden in ingenious spots and do not cause rodents to infest your bunk, get destroyed (or as I remember it from my counselor days, eaten by staff). Unless Sydney has turned in to Takeru Kobayashi in 3 weeks, I think we got a problem.
No, I know we “got a problem.”
But what would visiting day be without me and the grandparents backing up the Costco truck to that camp?
I don’t know about you….but for me it just wouldn’t be the same.
Safe travels!! Hug your campers! And then don’t feel guilty that you are upset that this indicates that half of your summer is over...you are not alone!
xoxo
I swore I wouldn’t do it again…
I spent the whole school year extolling the virtues of healthy eating and yet, today, days before camp visiting day, I purchased enough junk food for my daughter Sydney to put a village of children in to a sugar coma.
She sent me “The List”…the dreaded list…and who am I to say no? After all, she has been deprived of her favorite foods for twenty-one days. Imagine…3 whole weeks without a Blow Pop. It is, after all, two treats in one. I am too weak to refuse that request.
Hev, have you ever gone three weeks without two kinds of Doritos? It is unimaginable. Chex Mix? Tootsie rolls? Pop Tarts? Ritz with a can of Cheez Wiz on the side? I am too weak to refuse these requests as well. But can we take a minute to discuss the Cheez Wiz? Because it baffles me…she has never ever requested this fake dairy product or tried it at home. I believe I am asked to purchase this for purposes of an underground barter system that exists at camp (you know, like in prison). I have a theory that the Cheez Wiz has a high trade value. One of these days I will prove I am right.
I also swore up and down I wouldn’t schlep perishables. But “The List”…..the dreaded list…has Chinese food and sushi on it. Now I need another tangent here…I have friends who are admittedly attempting to transport Red Mango and D’Lites and Ralph’s Ices (all frozen treats in case you live in a cave)…and they are staying over the night before they see the kids…and no, they do not drive an ice cream truck…..though now that I say that wouldn’t that be a good idea? (Note to self: Rent Mr Softee truck next year and drive it to camp).
Okay so I told you all of that so I wouldn’t sound like such an ass for bringing Chinese food and sushi…but it’s true!! Did I mention hot wings? Chocolate pizza? (Call Michelle at 516 459 6495 if you want one for your camper—they're yummy!).
Is there actually any remnant of a fruit in a fruit roll-up? ‘Cause I bought a box of 48. She has a day and a half to eat the food I bring. After that, all things that cannot be hidden in ingenious spots and do not cause rodents to infest your bunk, get destroyed (or as I remember it from my counselor days, eaten by staff). Unless Sydney has turned in to Takeru Kobayashi in 3 weeks, I think we got a problem.
No, I know we “got a problem.”
But what would visiting day be without me and the grandparents backing up the Costco truck to that camp?
I don’t know about you….but for me it just wouldn’t be the same.
Safe travels!! Hug your campers! And then don’t feel guilty that you are upset that this indicates that half of your summer is over...you are not alone!
xoxo
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Shooting The Breeze
I had my camp “phone call” yesterday with my baby girl and it was apparent how much we each anxiously anticipated our opportunity to speak. We took turns babbling and sharing what was going on during our summer apart, neither one of us able to get a word in edgewise. And before we hung up we talked about when we would next speak. (You parents with campers… I imagine you put the same value into these coveted calls as I do…right?)
I was just as excited about my calls when my son was at sleep-away too…and he had no phone access other than scheduled calls and we looked forward to a chance to catch up.
Now, this year, at a college program with full access to phone and internet, my male offspring seems to have very little interest in chatting with dear old mom.
Oh sure, he calls once in a while…sends a text or a photo of him in an amazing place he’s touring…but there’s not much interest in “shooting the breeze.” In fact, I am pretty sure, he is not much of a fan of “the breeze.” The call has a purpose and when the purpose is stated, the call is over.
Him: “I am calling from Evanston, Illinois and Northwestern is one of the most beautiful campuses I have ever seen.”
Me: “Really, tell me about it…tell me what you are doing there.”
Him: “Actually I gotta go…just wanted to tell you this is amazing.” CLICK.
So I stared at the phone and thought, "Ok…at least he wants to share."
And I notice that my hubby thinks this is perfectly normal.
The other night when he and the rest of America heard LeBron say “Miami”…Eric dialed Max on speaker and this is how it went:
Given caller ID, Max answered like this: ”I don’t want to talk about it.”
Eric responded, “I know. And we are going to root for every team that plays against the Heat.”
“Agreed,” said Max.
“K, love you,” said Eric. CLICK.
And Eric seemed perfectly satisfied with this exchange. After all, key information and deep emotions were shared. Clearly, there was no need for "the breeze."
Oh well, Sydney and I get to speak again soon.
I really can’t wait!
I was just as excited about my calls when my son was at sleep-away too…and he had no phone access other than scheduled calls and we looked forward to a chance to catch up.
Now, this year, at a college program with full access to phone and internet, my male offspring seems to have very little interest in chatting with dear old mom.
Oh sure, he calls once in a while…sends a text or a photo of him in an amazing place he’s touring…but there’s not much interest in “shooting the breeze.” In fact, I am pretty sure, he is not much of a fan of “the breeze.” The call has a purpose and when the purpose is stated, the call is over.
Him: “I am calling from Evanston, Illinois and Northwestern is one of the most beautiful campuses I have ever seen.”
Me: “Really, tell me about it…tell me what you are doing there.”
Him: “Actually I gotta go…just wanted to tell you this is amazing.” CLICK.
So I stared at the phone and thought, "Ok…at least he wants to share."
And I notice that my hubby thinks this is perfectly normal.
The other night when he and the rest of America heard LeBron say “Miami”…Eric dialed Max on speaker and this is how it went:
Given caller ID, Max answered like this: ”I don’t want to talk about it.”
Eric responded, “I know. And we are going to root for every team that plays against the Heat.”
“Agreed,” said Max.
“K, love you,” said Eric. CLICK.
And Eric seemed perfectly satisfied with this exchange. After all, key information and deep emotions were shared. Clearly, there was no need for "the breeze."
Oh well, Sydney and I get to speak again soon.
I really can’t wait!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Decompressing
“You haven’t written in a while,” says Marge in her “Marge voice.”
As if I didn’t realize and would not have known if she did not tell me.
“Well are you still writing?” she adds.
So if it wasn’t stressing me out that I wasn’t writing, maybe it would now.
“I see you’re not answering me….but you should write more because I keep a book of all your entries and I haven’t added to it in a while.”
Thank you mother…I got the point!
So in response,…..I’m always writing…in my mind. My thoughts just haven’t made it to print in a while.
Bat Mitzvah planning, packing the children and sending them off for summer, auditioning for Oprah, lawyering, Bethenny Getting Married…these things have kept me slightly busy…and I gave myself permission to burn my candle from one less end for just a little while. You should try it!
Also, my children have informed me their friends read and if I write another embarrassing thing about them they are going to be "upset" with me (they actually used other choice phrases). Deterrent? Not a chance. I am planning my next embarrassing post as we speak…
But first, with the kids away, a mom must play.
After a weekend of debauchery, I plan to hit you with my “voice” again on a more regular basis.
That should please Marge…and hopefully a few others.
I hope you are all enjoying your summer!! Maybe even decompressing.
xo
As if I didn’t realize and would not have known if she did not tell me.
“Well are you still writing?” she adds.
So if it wasn’t stressing me out that I wasn’t writing, maybe it would now.
“I see you’re not answering me….but you should write more because I keep a book of all your entries and I haven’t added to it in a while.”
Thank you mother…I got the point!
So in response,…..I’m always writing…in my mind. My thoughts just haven’t made it to print in a while.
Bat Mitzvah planning, packing the children and sending them off for summer, auditioning for Oprah, lawyering, Bethenny Getting Married…these things have kept me slightly busy…and I gave myself permission to burn my candle from one less end for just a little while. You should try it!
Also, my children have informed me their friends read and if I write another embarrassing thing about them they are going to be "upset" with me (they actually used other choice phrases). Deterrent? Not a chance. I am planning my next embarrassing post as we speak…
But first, with the kids away, a mom must play.
After a weekend of debauchery, I plan to hit you with my “voice” again on a more regular basis.
That should please Marge…and hopefully a few others.
I hope you are all enjoying your summer!! Maybe even decompressing.
xo
Sunday, June 27, 2010
My OPRAH Audition
Hello Friends! I am at it again!
I have submitted an audition in Oprah's contest to win your own talk show on the Oprah Winfrey Network ("OWN").
Please let me impose upon you to WATCH IT, VOTE FOR ME and help me get some votes!!
You must cut and paste the following link to vote for me: http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=19610&promo_id=1
I have submitted an audition in Oprah's contest to win your own talk show on the Oprah Winfrey Network ("OWN").
Please let me impose upon you to WATCH IT, VOTE FOR ME and help me get some votes!!
You must cut and paste the following link to vote for me: http://myown.oprah.com/audition/index.html?request=video_details&response_id=19610&promo_id=1
Saturday, June 26, 2010
And They're Off.....
The day the kids leave for camp
Is the day that I put my stamp
On the summer that is to be
The summer of me, me, me
I like to start with a drink
Cause I’ve no desire to think
About respons-ibil-ity
Cause it’s all about me, me, me
And then I have another
To remember I have a lover
Who has been married to me 20 years
That’s why we need the beers
By the time I have had my third
I forget that it’s absurd
That I’m acting 23
And it’s all about me, me, me
After I finish another
I remember I am a mother
And I’ve only 49 days
To enjoy a childless haze
Then my heart begins to race
For the truth that I must face
Is those kids will always be
A force bigger than me, me, me……
Attention Campers!
Have an amazing summer!
And to my friends who have an "empty nest" for just a few weeks....
Relax, enjoy and take some time to do something you don't get to do when the hectic school year schedule gets in your way....
XOXO
Is the day that I put my stamp
On the summer that is to be
The summer of me, me, me
I like to start with a drink
Cause I’ve no desire to think
About respons-ibil-ity
Cause it’s all about me, me, me
And then I have another
To remember I have a lover
Who has been married to me 20 years
That’s why we need the beers
By the time I have had my third
I forget that it’s absurd
That I’m acting 23
And it’s all about me, me, me
After I finish another
I remember I am a mother
And I’ve only 49 days
To enjoy a childless haze
Then my heart begins to race
For the truth that I must face
Is those kids will always be
A force bigger than me, me, me……
Attention Campers!
Have an amazing summer!
And to my friends who have an "empty nest" for just a few weeks....
Relax, enjoy and take some time to do something you don't get to do when the hectic school year schedule gets in your way....
XOXO
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